Tuesday, September 24, 2013

20 Things to Balance All That Negativity

In other words, things I like.  Which is mostly food.

1. The smell and feel of marshmallows.
2. Boxed mac and cheese.
3. The smell of raw meat.
4. Crawling over sidewalks and construciton when driving a Jeep.
5. When the deer follow me to work in the morning.
6. Stocking/organizing yogurt, Jell-O, milk gallons, and spices.
7. Talking about my fish.
8. Kale, for its fleshy crunch that I often crave.
9. Little Cesar's cheese pizza.
10. Feeding the ducks.
11. Popcorn, tortilla chips, and fries, all without salt.
12. Little cookie cutters.
13. When cats fall asleep on you.
14. The way a grocery cart looks when it's full of fruit, vegetables, meat and eggs.
15. Food in glass bottles and jars.
16. When calves suck on your fingers.
17. Those first tiny bits of green from seeds sprouting.
18. McDonald's derpy cheeseburgers and mushy fries.
19. Soft serve vanilla ice cream in a cake cone.
20. Making dinner for my husband (especially when he likes it.)

20 Things I Don't Like (That Will Probably Offend People)

Why?  Because a lot of them have come up lately.  And it is so good to get it out.

So, in no particular order (okay, maybe a little bit):

1. Feminism.  
2. Anyone that calls you a monster for eating animals.
3. Large groups of women.
4. Visiting teaching.
5. When people closed-mindedly challenge my beliefs.  Such as evolution.
6. When you sit in the back by yourself to be alone on purpose and someone thinks "That poor girl is all alone, I should sit next to her and NEVER. STOP. TALKING."
7. When, if I'm knitting something, anything, people ask "What is it, a scarf?"
8. When recipes call for wine and I'm too young to buy it.
9. When people finish a conversation with "Is there anything I can do to help you?"
10. When people defend those people by saying "They're just trying to be nice."
11. Using "against marriage equality" to describe those that don't support gay marriage.
12. That I am "Partner B" on my marriage license, not "Wife."
13. When movies ruin books.  (Looking at you, Thief Lord, Eragon, and Narnia.)
14. When people think dishes need to "soak" in the sink.
15. BYU baked goods.  Especially the mint brownies and fruit things.
16. Hipsters.  
17. When people try to talk to me during a movie or show while characters are talking.
18. Oven mitts.
19. When employees at Petsmart preach false doctrine.
20. And feminism.  Again.  Because it is that annoying.