Friday, December 7, 2012

She No Nuts, She's Crazy!

Pies?  Pies are easy.  Even the crust.  Cupcakes?  Oh, please.  I barely even think about them. Bread?  Rolls?  Cheesecake?  This is me we're talking about.

Cookies?  You mean sugar cookies?  Yeah, I'm going to go cry myself to sleep now.  Mkaybye.

Sugar cookies should be pretty easy, right?  I mean, how hard is it to make a cookie shaped like a leaf?  There's a law out there somewhere that says something like: "The more you need to find something, the less likely you are to find it."  In this case, the more you need it to look like a leaf, the less it is going to resemble a leaf.  

Batch #1: Things started off relatively normally.  I was making these Thanksgiving place setting cookies well in advance, a few days early.  This way I could have plenty of time to make pies.

What's this?  The cookies spread?  I must have done something matter, I'll just make some more.  I have plenty of time.  In fact, I'll try this new recipe from a blog that has some of the most gorgeous cookies I've ever seen.  Piece of cake.

Batch #2: What is happening?!  These cookies are horrible!  They are massively puffy, burned/browned on the edges, and still undercooked on the inside!  They don't taste good, look good, nothing!  I'm never making these again!  Even the royal icing recipe tastes bad!

Okay, back to my original fall-back "no fail" Cow Cookie recipe.  The first time may have had issues, but this time will definitely work.  No problem.

Batch #3:  What's that, friend?  You need some help?  Sure, I'll turn my attention away from my precious baking cookies for just a seco- COOKIES, Y U NO COOK PROPERLY??  This batch is underdone, these ones are burnt, there aren't enough of the last batch...screw it!  I'm trying again!

Maybe I'm overthinking this.  I've made plenty of these Cow Cookies, and they've always held their shape wonderfully.  I'll just make them again, pretend like nothing has ever gone wrong...

Batch #4:  Huh...these are pretty good.  They're acceptable.  They're even attractive.  Sure, there's a little bit of browning, but no one will notice.  And this royal icing recipe I've used before worked great the first time, so I'll just use that.  Yeah.  And you know what...they look pretty good.  I think all that baking was worth it.  Sure, my roommates thought they all looked fine and that I'm a weirdo perfectionist that throws away cookies, but it was worth it.  Even finally going to bed at 3am Thanksgiving morning was worth it.  They're my cookies.

And even though Mom and Dad couldn't celebrate with us...

So, why did I go through all this just for some place settings?  Because I knew I could make them look amazing, I knew I had that ability, and I wouldn't settle for anything less.